Is Your Pain “Processing” You?

By Elaina Ayala

You may have heard it said, what you don’t deal with will eventually deal with you…

I’d also like to add, when it deals with you, it usually costs more than you are willing pay and shows up at the most inconvenient times. I’m talking about pain.

I recently shared with our Heart & Life Facebook group that after I walked through a 7 year infertility battle (and then birthed two beautiful children), I had no clue I still had work to do.

God had gloriously come through for us, He answered the heart-cry of my husband and I. He gave us children! We thought all the painful emotions from that incredibly hard season would disappear now that our answer had come!

Sometimes pain doesn’t go away on its own. I’m not talking about the actual sting of pain, I’m talking about the beliefs, mindsets, and conclusions about God and yourself you picked up along the way.

My desire is not that we become hyper-focused on pain or the past, I think I would like to move past pain more than the average person if I’m being honest, LOL!

Here’s the thing though, if there is a hole in your boat, you have to resolve the issue if you want to last.

So, how do you know you need to process past pain?

  1. You are bearing unhealthy fruit, things like: bitterness, irritably, impatience, hopelessness, depression, anxiety, isolation, emotional numbness, etc.
  2. Talking about what happened still provokes negative response in you.
  3. You haven’t forgiven.
  4. You have an overall sense that there is some ‘unfinished business’ from that season.
  5. You question the goodness of God in that situation.

Great places to get started:

  • Professional Therapy
  • Pastoral Counseling (I’m offering this now!)
  • Christian Support Groups 
  • Prayer/accountability partner that you can do a “full life confession” with.
  • Freedom/deliverance session w/ an aftercare plan.

5 Help Tips for Processing Pain

  1. Know it’s ok to be happy and sad at the same time (Romans 5:3-5)
  2. Remember that a hard day is not the same as a bad life (Romans 8:37).
  3. Praise Jesus despite what you feel and He will lift your spirit (Isaiah 61:3)
  4. Allowing yourself to grieve does not mean you don’t have faith (Psalm 34:18)
  5. Find comfort in the Holy Spirit (2 Corinthians 1:3)

Join our Heart & Life FB Group (women only please)

With love,

Elaina Ayala

Learn more about Coaching / Pastoral Counseling…

Leave a comment